The pre-match briefing was held in the private bar area of The Lord Nelson Public House in the East End of London on Friday afternoon.  Mini Jaffa cakes were on order, but as always the boys opted for Miss Miggins tasty pastie.  The chaps reconvened the next afternoon,  half an hour before the match was to commence.  Felix kept the morale high with slight of hand tricks and some new pick-pocketing skills he had learnt on a recent holiday to Eastern Europe.

 

Unfortunately several of the chaps peaked too early, as the opposition had been held up because of a messy pile up on Biffins Bridge.  The obstruction was cleared and the opposition inched forward, closer to their destination.  The game commenced 20 minutes late, it was clear early on, that the Saints had Champagne Hockey on their collective minds.  Tim Snook was kind enough to send his Butler, Badger along, to have on hand and to administer highly oxygenated blood, kindly donated by the Sherpa community of Upper Hartfield.

 

By half time the boys were 5-0 up, but still it was evident they wanted more. They could smell blood and ultimate victory.  The half time meal was a sit down formal affair, black tie was insisted upon.  The ladies wore full Ball Gowns and were complimented by the umpires, who were asked to assist Badger in serving the feast. 

 

A spit roast was presented to the chaps, it was evident that the younger members of the team were reluctant to join in, but were reassured by seeing the senior and more experienced squad members confidently take control.  It has to be said that Tom and Henry were spit roast naturals and consumed several pounds of crispy crackling.  The entertainment was provided by Tuggs, a new member of the squad, who preformed his famous sword swallowing trick, he did choke a bit, but with a little encouragement from the team, managed to get as far as the hilt.  His sister and our Umpire, Emma, was heard to mumble that she thought he never had it in him.

 

The team talk revolved around the landing on the moon conspiracy, an informative and somewhat controversial PowerPoint presentation by MarkT, clearly showed picture of Neil Armstrong on lunar surface, with Prince Charles hiding behind a tree stump in the background. TimC failed the Saint's half-time drug test, with a low alcoholic level in his urine sample.  He has committed to drink more before the game.

 

The Second half followed much the same as the first, with the boys scoring another 3 goals. Injuries sustained were as follows..

 

Tim Cowen ....Bruised Meta-Carpel

Gary..............Tweaked Hamstring

Tom...............Dead legs

Henry.............Broken Heart

 

The game came to an end and the Saints walked off 8-0 victors

 

There was no man of the match award, as the victory was dedicated to the memory of TBag's father who sadly passed away this week.  Our thoughts are with TBag and his family.

 

Scorers: Henry 3, Tom 2, Dave  Martin 2, Tuggs  1